The Psych Buffet

The Fatal Mistake There is a fatal mistake that far too many make in life - and that is the tragic decision to simply do what others tell you. To live a life dictated by the expectations and demands of others, rather than pursuing your own deepest desires and callings. It's the surest path to quiet desperation and a hollowed out existence devoid of deeper meaning. You see, if you do not decide for yourself what you truly want out of this existence, then others will be all too happy to tell you what you should want. And worse, you'll likely believe them, falling into the trap of merely going through the motions, bouncing from assignment to assignment, checking off boxes like a mindless automaton. Before you know it, the accumulated weight of responsibilities leaves you with neither time nor resources to create the life you want to live.  It's a tragedy of the utmost order, for it extinguishes those vital embers that could grow into a raging fire of meaning and purpose if onl...

Look, there's something deeply profound in appreciating the simple beauties of life that are always happening around us. It's easy to get caught up endlessly analyzing the human mind and heart, searching for some transcendent meaning in the experience of consciousness itself. And don't get me wrong, there's value in that endeavor - understanding ourselves and our fellow humans is part of being awake and alive on this planet.  But we have to be careful not to become so myopically focused on the mysteries of human existence that we neglect to actually live in and appreciate the reality we currently inhabit. The natural world surrounds us at all times with constant little miracles and marvels, if we'd only take our eyes off the narrow secularized pursuit of happiness through naval-gazing and nihilistic ideation and look at what's right in front of us. Think about a sunset. The cosmic ballet of light and atmosphere that it is. The gradients of color, constantly shif...

We live in a world of contradictions. The human mind contains paradoxes and opposing forces that exist side-by-side. This doesn't mean we are out of control, but it does mean we must grapple with the dichotomies within us. We long for happiness yet dwell in sadness. We dislike ourselves yet embrace our potential. We claim not to care yet care deeply. We crave attention but resist acceptance. We heal others while hurting ourselves. We listen yet withhold our own thoughts. To reject any part of ourselves is harmful. We fear these contradictory aspects, so we try to avoid rather than embrace them. But there is no light without darkness. A person cannot fully value their positive qualities until they have faced their negative ones. That is why true kindness and forgiveness are so difficult - they must be earnestly practiced and hard-earned through mistakes, guilt, and sacrifice. Life is a constant challenge of balancing the different sides of our psyche. I too contain light and darknes...

You don’t lose people; you return them as they were never yours.   Is there anything that is truly yours, not even your soul is in your undertaking. We've got a serious problem in our society. It's this idea that being obsessively attached to other people is normal and healthy. It's not. When you latch onto someone emotionally, you become desperate for their constant presence. And when they are around, you're terrified of them leaving. That's no way to live. The more intensely attached you are, the worse off you'll be. You're not free - you're a slave to your own needy desires. You've made yourself a plaything of fate, waiting to get knocked down by the inevitable loss. And make no mistake, trying to force people to stay in your life against their will is selfish, plain and simple. Here's the harsh truth: No person was ever truly yours to begin with. They don't belong to you. You can't possess them or their love. Everything is temporary -...

We all have an inner monster within us. Integrating and understanding this shadow side is key to gaining strength of character and self-respect. Someone incapable of cruelty is naive and weak, vulnerable to manipulation by those willing to be cruel. Watching anti-heroes allows us to connect with our inner monster, ensuring we treat ourselves and demand others treat us with respect.   This does not mean cruelty is good, but that having the capacity for cruelty while choosing not to be cruel is morally superior to lacking that capacity. Martial arts teach this: the goal is not to fight but be peaceful; however, competence in fighting decreases the need actually to fight. Strength deters others from attacking. Our inner monsters, properly understood, foster peace. Jung considered integrating one’s shadow, the parts of oneself avoided, vital yet terrifying, as it reaches to the depths of human capacity for evil. Analyzing the shadow, however, allows comprehending atrocities and pr...